ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
