all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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