But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
