I just threw up on my dentist
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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