Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
