I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
