6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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