If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I forget how to act sober
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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