just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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