So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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