That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
