I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
