4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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