i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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