I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
