my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
