Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
