so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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