Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
