elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
