I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
