No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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