We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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