Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
