She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
