Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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