If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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