oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
