girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
