the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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