I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize