my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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