he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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