Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
