i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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