im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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