I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
