I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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