oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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