Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize