i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
