Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
