I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
