If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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