Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
