I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I smell like Dick and happiness
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