I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize