I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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