i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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