Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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