the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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