At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
