end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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