i just google imaged poop.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
