Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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