I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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