playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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