drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize