If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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