I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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