Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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