I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
