Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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