oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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