Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
