so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
