To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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