i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
